I say this because as I've been on my steady diet of drugs for depression and fake tumors I have been losing a lot of weight. It happens when your medicine cabinet is filled with side effect appetite suppressant inducing drugs. Really, who needs to eat? So when one loses weight, one tends to get compliments. Shudder.
Sure, yeah it's nice that people noticed but what did I do? I was lucky enough to have enough issues with my brain that I had to be medicated. Unlike my one freaking amazing friend who has busted her butt to lose weight the right way for her wedding this May and looks fantastic! Or my entire team at work that eats right and works out. I'm not doing anything. I don't know that I deserve attention for that.
Harlee: Amanda, haven't you made changes to your life as well?
Me: Well, I guess.
Harlee: What are they?
Me: Well since I started on the medication I've managed to keep my food portions relatively low. And I cut out pretty much all sugared drinks. And because of my own personal sequestration budget, I am not eating out as much so I'm eating better foods.
Harlee: Yes. So you are doing something.
Ok, so maybe I am doing something but I still feel like its a little bit like its cheating.
Giving compliments though, now that's some fun. I try to find at least one person to compliment every day. Today one of my coworkers had this fantastic green scarf, just loved it. I think I am so conscious of giving out compliments because I am so self-conscious of receiving them.
I know why I have a problem accepting compliments. Maybe not so much how it got started or the when it started but the why I do know. But is the why really important? Probably not, not really. Harlee has told me I need to practice saying "Thank you." when I receive a compliment. Just a simple thanks with no qualifiers, not buts, no excuses. I haven't mastered this yet, not even close. I still want to run and hide every time someone compliments me.
So, in case I ran and forgot to say it - THANK YOU!!!
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